{"id":8907,"date":"2017-01-12T17:06:14","date_gmt":"2017-01-12T17:06:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.hackingchinese.com\/?p=8907"},"modified":"2021-10-05T11:21:06","modified_gmt":"2021-10-05T09:21:06","slug":"fake-sounding-like-native-chinese-speaker","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.hackingchinese.com\/fake-sounding-like-native-chinese-speaker\/","title":{"rendered":"How to fake sounding like a native Chinese speaker"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"Ever wanted to sound more like a native speaker, but don’t have ten thousand hours to spend? In this guest article, David Moser shows how to effectively fake your way to better Mandarin. David holds a Master\u2019s and a Ph.D. in Chinese Studies from the University of Michigan, with a major in Chinese Linguistics and Philosophy. He\u2019s currently Academic Director at CET Chinese Studies<\/a> at Beijing Capital Normal University. His previous contributions to Hacking Chinese include The new paperless revolution in Chinese reading<\/a>. This article was originally written a long time ago, but in the post-truth world we live in, faking is more in vogue than ever!
\n<\/em><\/p>\n

Many Chinese, upon first meeting me, say something like, \u201cBut you sound exactly like a native Chinese! How is that possible?\u201d (Those who have more than a five-minute conversation with me find this illusion quickly evaporating.)<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve often puzzled over why my Chinese at first leaves so many Chinese with this impression, and I\u2019ve come to some conclusions that I am willing to share with the world.<\/p>\n

How to fake sounding like a native Chinese speaker<\/h3>\n

The following are techniques that I seem to have unconsciously developed over the course of the past few years for the purpose of fooling Chinese people into thinking my Chinese is perfect.<\/p>\n

Some are merely rules of thumb I apply in conversations with Chinese people. (As I once said to someone, \u201cIn speaking a foreign language, I\u2019m all rules of thumbs.\u201d) I am not the first to discover them, but I may be the first to openly admit to using them.<\/p>\n

1. First, learn to speak Chinese<\/h3>\n

I\u2019m joking, of course. This is similar to Steve Martin\u2019s fake TV ad: \u201cYOU CAN MAKE A MILLION DOLLARS AND NOT PAY TAXES!! How, you ask? It\u2019s easy! First, get a million dollars…\u201d But seriously, you do have to learn the language, of course, and a good accent is the first requirement, since it will get you 90% of the way.<\/p>\n

If your pronunciation \u2014 especially the tones \u2014 is accurate, they will be willing to ignore glitches in grammar and bizarre lexical choices. Reasonably good pronunciation will lull them into a relaxed, uncritical mental state. Delaying conversations until the baijiu<\/em> they are drinking kicks in is also a good strategy.<\/p>\n

2. Say only what you know how to say<\/h3>\n

Don\u2019t go out on a limb with complex, novel utterances. Stick to short phrases you\u2019ve said a thousand times and are quite sure are idiomatic. Try to string these together into something coherent. Gary Cooper, not Proust.<\/p>\n

3. Adopt a relaxed, unhurried speaking style<\/h3>\n

If you do this, people will assume your reaction time is naturally slow. You don\u2019t have to appear dense (though this has advantages), but it pays to have people assume you\u2019re the type who contemplates each utterance carefully before speaking.<\/p>\n

This gives you time to think carefully about what you want to say. It also gives the other person time to remember they have a plane to catch and to walk away from you completely, keeping your reputation as an awesome Mandarin speaker completely intact.<\/p>\n

4. Memorize a lot of equivocating and meta-discourse phrases<\/h3>\n

These are things like, \u201cOh, how can I put it?…\u201d, \u201cPerhaps I can put it this way…\u201d, and \u201cOh, what should I say?…\u201d This will give you time to formulate responses and retrieve rusty lexical tools from the toolbox.<\/p>\n

The listener has no access to what\u2019s going on inside your head, and for all they know you really are searching through a vast list of words, looking for le mot juste<\/em> that will perfectly express the subtlety of your position.<\/p>\n

Of course, this device should not be over-exploited, or used at inappropriate times, otherwise you\u2019ll blow your cover. Don\u2019t say, \u201cHey, could you please hand me the… oh, how can I put this into words?… the salt?\u201d This will give the game away.<\/p>\n

5. Let the other person supply the word you need<\/h3>\n

What you do is to simply hesitate before uttering some crucial word, a word which you may not be sure of, but which should be obvious and highly active in the mind of a native speaker based on the context provided.<\/p>\n

The listener, perfectly aware of what you want to say and impatient for you to get on with the conversation, will prompt you or provide you with a usable word. Try to time it so that you repeat the word a split second after they say it, so that it seems as if you, too, were about to say that word.<\/p>\n

This will make them feel good, because it will make them feel their reaction time is quicker than yours, and will make them feel more an active participant in the discourse. People love it when you make them feel smarter than you.<\/p>\n

The dialogue will sound something like this:<\/p>\n

You: \u201cAnd after being so rude, he didn\u2019t even apologize, can you imagine that? The guy is such a…\u201d
\nOther person: \u201cJerk.\u201d
\nYou: \u201c…jerk, right. I was thinking to myself, \u2018Boy, if I were that guy\u2019s girlfriend, I would really consider… consider…\u2019\u201c
\nOther person: \u201cDumping him.\u201d
\nYou: \u201cDumping the jerk, absolutely…\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

6. If you can use an idiom or a slang phrase, do so<\/h3>\n

Never mind if it really expresses what you had in mind. If it\u2019s anywhere close in semantic space to your meaning, use it. This will win you many, many points with Chinese people. They will be amazed that you know such an idiom or usage, since they tend to believe their language is absolutely impenetrable to foreigners, and that Chinese are genetically hard-wired to recognize characters and parse classical Chinese.<\/p>\n

7. If someone thinks you have somehow said something brilliant and insightful, do NOT disabuse them of this notion.<\/h3>\n

Strange things can occur during a conversation, and it might just so happen that, in some flailing response to a question, you actually stumble upon a sentence that seems to suggest sage-like insight into the topic at hand.<\/p>\n

They might compliment you with something like \u201cYou have such a deep knowledge of the Chinese language, and also of our culture and way of thinking. How did you ever reach such an advanced level?\u201d<\/p>\n

Even though you have no idea why they are saying this, and maybe never even understood what the topic was, simply smile calmly, Buddha-like, and say \u201cNali nali\u201d, a phrase whose literal meaning \u201cWhere? Where?\u201d most accurately expresses your state of total bewilderment, but which will be interpreted by the native speaker as \u201cAw, shucks.\u201d<\/p>\n

8. Eschew subtlety<\/h3>\n

Give punchy, black-and-white answers to questions, regardless of the complexity of your true opinion.<\/p>\n

If someone asks, \u201cWhat did you think of the movie?\u201d, you may be thinking, \u201cThe cinematography was fabulous, natural-light interior shots with exquisite Vermeer-like shades of luminescent white \u2013 a pastel symphony! The acting, however, was wooden and strangely mechanical, though the woman who played the young daughter acted her role with a kind of crazy intensity that literally propelled the movie forward to that frenzied conclusion that left me drained emotionally. She also had a quirky sexiness that kept my eyes riveted to the screen. The guy sitting next to me was literally drooling into his popcorn…\u201d and so on.<\/p>\n

However, you are much better off if you answer the person\u2019s question with something like, \u201cOh, how can I put it?… Just so-so. I could take it or leave it. I liked The Last Emperor<\/em> better.\u201d<\/p>\n

The listener won\u2019t have any idea what you really thought of the movie, but they will be impressed with the casual ease with which you express your opinions in Chinese, and will be amazed that you know phrases like \u201cjust so-so\u201d and \u201cI could take it or leave it\u201d.<\/p>\n

—<\/p>\n

Well, there are a few more tricks I use, but these will give the learner a good start. My next few instalments include \u201cHow to Fake Playing the Brahms Piano Concerto no. 2 in D minor\u201d and \u201cHow to Fake Being the President of a Superpower Nation\u201d.<\/p>\n

While it’s obvious that this article is written tongue-in-cheek (just like Why Chinese is so damn hard<\/a>), much of the advice here is actually sound even if you don’t want to fake it. Personally, I think that learning filler phrases is extremely important to sounding fluent, and I must admit I sometimes also allow other speakers to fill in the word I’m looking for, which might make me appear to know more words than I do. What tricks do you use to appear more advanced than you really are? <\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Have you ever wanted your Mandarin to sound more advanced than it is? In this guest article, David Moser tells us how to fake sounding like a native Chinese speaker. While tongue-in-cheek, some of the advice applies even if you’re after the real thing!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8911,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,5,10,21],"tags":[856,160,1046,855],"class_list":["post-8907","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advanced","category-beginner","category-intermediate","category-speaking","tag-conversation","tag-david-moser","tag-guest-post","tag-native-speaker"],"yoast_head":"\nHow to fake sounding like a native Chinese speaker<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Have you ever wanted your Mandarin to sound more advanced than it is? 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